Halloween House

Elizabeth Smart

My admiration and kudos goes to Elizabeth Smart, who has overcome and risen from about one of what I consider, the worst series of events that could happen to a young girl.  I believe that after suffering at the hands of her abductors, it was her family and strong religious background and upbringing that have gotten her through.  I was told that she spoke this past weekend in Chicago, and my sister was able to speak with her for a brief moment.  The event that she spoke at can be found here http://libertyville.patch.com/articles/elizabeth-smart-inspires-north-shore-women-53b55371

I wonder, if anyone of us had gone through what she did, and lived to tell about it, could we become the well adjusted person that she is today?  What was it that got her through?  I have some thoughts..

Faith - Faith in the God and the knowledge that she knew she was his beloved daughter.
 
Strong Values - She was  raised with strong values, and a knowledge of who she is and what she has the potential to become.

Jesus Christ's Atonement  - I feel pretty sure that the Atonement lives in her life.  The Lord sufferend for us, so we don't have to.  She has somehow learned to forgive and give her troubles away to the Lord.  He did for us, what we could not do for ourselves.  She did nothing to be forgiven of, however she had to have pleanty to give to the Lord, lest she carryaround such heavy burdons her life.

Her Mothers unconditional love - Elizabeth knew her Mothers love and voice and that carried her through some of the worst days she was in captivity.

Kid Etiquette

My ever active mind, is constantly rolling from one topic to the next, but for me, there is never a dull moment.  So... my new topic for conversation and comment is this: "How to teach Etiquette to kids".  Now you might be thinking, kids are way too young to teach certain things to, but I think that if parents begin young, then the child's behavior will be so much better both at home and in public.  With that said, Here are my questions for you to think about and comment on:

1.  "How do you teach your young children to not stare, point, or make unkind and uncomfortable comments about individuals they see who are handicapped, or have some condition that gives them obvious difference in their appearance?" 

This is a difficult question, but even harder if you think about it in reverse.  Let's say you are the mother of the child who is different in some way, and you see other peoples children starring, making fun, pointing, laughing at, following your child around in the store. As the mother....

2.  "How do you act or react to those children who say these unkind things"? Do you talk to those children or the parent they are with about it? Do you ignore it?  Do you defend your child's dignity?  What would you do?

I have posed this question because I have seen so many uncomfortable situations, when this happens, over and over to people with difference. It isn't just the children who can be cruel with their taunting and unkindness, it can be adults as well.  

One day, as I was in Old Navy looking to purchase some cute little clothes for my granddaughter, a woman walked into the store and was pushing her new baby in a cart.  This woman was very short statured, and immediately, a little child, began to point and loudly tell his mother to "Look at her, Mom, see that little Mommy".  That child said it over and over to the point of nauseym, and his mother ignored him, probably because she was uncomfortable and didn't know what to say.  To the credit of this short statured woman, she ignored the words, and moved on, pushing her baby in the cart, and pretending to not let the degrading words of a child bother her.  

Only a minute or two later, another child noticed this little woman, and had a horrified look on his face.  I watched him look this little woman over, up and down, still with a horrified look on his face.  For me, enough was enough, and I moved myself between the boy and this little woman, so that he could not see her, and she not see him.  She said nothing, and continued to shop, however this little boy, positioned himself, walking around the clothing stands, so that he could continue to stare at this woman.  I looked around and there was no mother in site and I wondered who this little boy belonged to.  He continued to follow around this little woman until she finally told him to go find his mother, and he did.  

My heart ached for this little woman, and I knew that this had to be her lot in life, and that most likely each time she went somewhere in public, she was treated poorly, by perfect strangers and I am sure that it wasn't just children who would behave this way.  

I would like everyone to think about how they behave in public with regard to people of difference, and how they would teach their children to behave as well.  Please answer the questions that I have posted and hopefully those who read your answers could benefit from your wise advice.

Parenting

I just viewed the cutest video called, "Parent Rap". It is such a cute video and I wanted to share. It can be found at this link http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xsw18k_parents-rap-about-maintaining-their-household_music

Why?

Today I attended a Regional conference.  The topic came up about the media reports and public sharing of  MISinformation about Mormons,  and why Mormons don't lash out or go on the defense.  So I ask you this question: 

In your own personal opinion, Why don't Mormons speak up and try to change peoples perception about them when misinformation is being spread?

Please comment and share your thoughts.  You can remain anonymous if you wish.

What would you do?

I have 3 short stories that await your comments.  I would love to hear from you on how you would have handled these situations, or how you would answer the questions following each true story.

STORY 1

A woman hires a housecleaning service, to help her with her home.  She pays for 3 hour of their time up front with the understanding that she will pay the balance after they are done.  A date is set, and the housekeeping company cancels on her 3 times.  The 4^th time, two house cleaners are sent out to the home, but they arrive 3 and 1/2 hours late.  They begin to clean together and they take an hour and a half to clean a bathroom that no larger than a closet, which should only have taken 15 minutes to clean. 

They move on to the master bathroom, and as one of them were cleaning the floors, the other, accidentally pulled the light fixture out of the wall, scratching the 4' x 9'mirror.  She did manage to catch the light fixture before it crashed on the granite counter tops.  The homeowner has to call an electrician to get instructions on how to disconnect the wires from the fixture.

A half  hour of no cleaning goes by and one of the women gets a call on her cell phone, telling her that her husband is outside the house to pick her up.  She had only worked for 2 of her 3 hours.  The other woman continued to clean for a while, but since they arrived late, it was evening and she said she was too tired to clean anymore.  She promised to be back the next day to finish the rest of the contracted cleaning time, which was 2 and 1/2 more hours, and yet to be paid for by the homeowner.

That next day, no house cleaners came or called the homeowner, to tell her when they would be back.  No one would take her calls at their business office, so she left answering messages.  No one would return any of the calls.  The job was never completed, and the home owner was left to call and pay an electrician to rewire and install the light fixture, and the huge mirror has two permanent large scratches that cannot be removed.  The homeowner still owed the cleaning ladies for ½ hour more of completed work, but could not get in touch with them to pay them.

Question:

1.      Should the home owner feel like she owed this company for the 30 minutes of work that  they were due, considering all the problems that had happened? 

2.      What about the Housecleaning company… what are their obligations to this homeowner ……Replace the mirror?... Pay for the electrician bill to reconnect the light fixture? 

3.      Should the housekeeping company come back and finish the 2 hours and 15 minutes of contracted cleaning time and should they get paid?

STORY 2

You lend out many of your nice household things to your neighbors.  When they are returned, they are not in the same condition that they were in when they left your house.  Sometimes they are returned dirty, scratched and sometimes even broken.  None of your neighbors have taken responsibility for the damage or have offered to replace them.  You make the determination that you will not be lending out your nice things to your neighbors anymore.  One of the same borrowing neighbors call asking to borrow from you again, and you say "no" and explain why.  Later you hear the gossip about you that is going around, that you are selfish, cheap and unneighborly. 

Questions: 

1.      If you were the owner of the broken and damaged things, should you ignore the criticisms and just give in and let anyone borrow whatever they want to appease everyone and have no expectations upon their return? 

2.      What about the neighbors, especially the one who did not notify their lender of the damage or offer to replace it or pay for it? 

3.      What would you do? 

STORY 3

A young woman was getting married and had little funds to pay for the reception. She asked friends and neighbors if she could borrow items from them to decorate and use to serve the food, and many people responded favorably.  Prior to the wedding, these items were gathered, and taken to the reception.  The kitchen help noticed that there were chipped glass and holes in some of the borrowed items making them unusable for the reception.  They told the mother of the bride and set these items aside.

1.      When the mother of the bride was returning these items, she was faced with a dilemma.  She knew that the items were broken prior to getting them out to use at the reception, however the people she borrowed from, had not mentioned the damage and possibly didn’t know about it.  She really could not afford to replace these items, especially considering that they had no responsibility for the condition they were in. 

2.      Should she replace or offer to pay for them, even though she did not break, chip or even use them just to avoid possible problems with their friends.”

3.      How could she talk to the owners of the damaged items, especially after the reception, and let them know that they were not the ones who damaged these items, and legitimately prove it?

4.      If she returned these items and didn’t replace them, knowing she didn’t damage them, and the borrower wasn’t aware of their condition prior to lending them out, will this be a friendship breaker?

5.      Would it just be better to tell them the story, and just go ahead and pay for them to buy new ones, and consider it the price for rental, to avoid feelings of any kind?”

Please add your comments.  Thanks!

 
 

The "THREE T's", in being a stay at home MOM.

Before I get into my topic for today, I wanted to share with you some quotes that I absolutely love about the benefits of choosing to be a stay at home mother for a vocation.

     "All I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."    Abraham Lincoln

     "Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried   jobs, since the payment is pure love."  Mildred B. Vermont

     "The hand that rocks the cradle --is the hand that rules  the world."  William Ross Wallace

     "Sometimes the poorest Mother leaves her children the richest inheritance."  Ruth E. Renkel

I have a story to think about, when considering choosing to be a stay at home Mom, or seeking employment outside the home. Recently, I had a conversation with a woman who I really like and admire. She is knowledgable and very well spoken.  She has worked outside her home, her entire married life.  She asked me recently, about the qualifications that I now have, to go get a job.  She assumed that since my children were grown and moved away, and thatI had only been a stay at home mom all during those years, the next step in my life  would be to go out and get "Gainful employment". She also asked me if I had gone to college or had considered going back. 

It was interesting for me to listen to the views of someone who had worked outside the home all her life.  It was also very clear to me, that she doesn't know me very well, because I have developed so many marketable skills and talents as a stay at home Mother, that I could get any number of jobs, if I chose to do so.  That was the point... If I chose to do so!

Our conversation turned to why she did not stay at home and mother her own children, and she told me that she would have liked to stay at home too, but she couldn't because her husband didn't make enough money to support their family.  She then told me what her husbands vocation was, and I soon realized that it wasn't about the income that her husband earned, but it was about all the THINGS that she felt she would miss out on having if she didn't work. I knew that what her husband did for a living would provide for his family, though not a lot of frills, as my cousin had that very same vocation and did just fine.  She admitted that she enjoyed having an official TITLE, and that she had worked long and hard to achieve. The two "T's"-- "TITLE and THINGS"... I thought about what she said and decided to keep quiet.

When I weigh having a TITLE and THINGS, against having the God given privlege and responsibility to raise my children, there is no debate, I pick my children. TITLES and THINGS come and go, and over time change or get broken, replaced, and tossed.  The thrid "T" which is TIME, is what matters the most to children.  It won't be the lovely room furnishings, or the fancy clothing that a child will remember when he is grown, but he will remember the TIME that his parents spent with him.

There are situations where it isn't about having beautiful things to adorn your home to make it pretty, but it is more about having enough money to pay the rent and utilities, have food for the family and gas in the car.  Sometimes having enough just to make ends meet, is what is on the minds of many parents.  If this is of concern for you, then there are lots of jobs that a mom can do from home, to help sustain their family while still being there for your children. Here is a list of suggestions, that I have compiled, that might help. (Be sure to click on each link for further help on each particular interest or subject)

1. Make cute crafts, clothing, decorations, etc., while at home, and sell them on Etsy.
2. Make cute home made items, and sell them at seasonal craft fairs or boutiques.
3. Create a gift basket business, and assemble baskets at home to deliver when your husband come home from work to tend the kids.
4. Do alterations and sewing for others.
5. Teach lessons... Dance, music, voice, instruments, etc.
6. Tutoring is a highly sought after, and you can do it from your own home.
7. Book keeping, payroll and accounting services .
8. Many customer service type jobs will let you work from home on your own computer. Seek them out.
9. Computer related jobs such as computer repair, updating, questions or technical service by phone.  There are programs that will let you get into someone else's computer to work on it or teach, from your own home.
10. Medical records transcription and billing.
11. Create your own business using your own talents and skill set and put it online.
12. Jewelry making and selling.
13. Drop shipping product sales.  Create your own website and sell products through drop shippers.
14. Ebay sales, and KSL.com classifieds
15. Child care/Baby sitting services in your home. 
16. Writing - freelance for magazines, newspapers, or online
17. Wedding/Party or events planner or caterer.
18. Floral arranger, especially offering corsages during proms or special events.
19. Musician - Write music to sell, play and perform at evening events. Record Cd's of your music to sell.
20. Answering service operator, taking calls from offices.
21. Office or meeting scheduler.
22. Airline Reservations assistant.
23. Desktop publishing service where you provide services for design, word processing, charts, business cards and stationary, etc.
24. Photography - in home studio for portraits.
25. Fundraising by making calls for organizations or events.
26. Home based call center reps.  Bilingual operators are in high demand.
27. Professional blogger.
28. Customer Service or sales using your home computer and phone.
29. At home Genealogy researcher.
30. Editing service for writers. 

My youngest daughter recenly had a baby, and before leaving her job, her company offered her a stay at home position in order to keep her as a valued employee.  What a wonderful opportunity, and I bet that that if your services are valued enough and you are at a company who employs stay at home positions, you could apply or find out about them.

 If you are a stay at home mom, in need of generating a little extra income to subsidize what is already coming in, you can do any number of things and still be able to raise your own children, at home.  You would have the best of both worlds, but living in your child's world is your top priority. Remember the "THREE T'S" and see where your priorities are.